Everything you wanted to know about ejaculate but were afraid to ask…
The White Stuff
Let’s start off with the basics. Male ejaculate, the substance that also goes by the name of cum, gunk, jism, man goo, syrup, yogurt, seed, toffee, gizz, juice, syrup and semen. According to various sources it is made up of: boutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA), fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc. A teaspoon of ejaculate is estimated to have 5-7 calories. Its nutritional value is often exaggerated though. You’ll need to find another incentive guys to have your gal swallow the stuff or have it on her face. When it comes to protein and zinc, she is better off eating kidney beans. However, sexually transmitted infections aside, the white stuff is not bad for you either. When it comes to consumption, it ends up being a matter of personal taste – literally.
Now that we know what we are dealing with, let’s look at what goes on when a man ejaculates. First off, sperm is produced in the testicles.
Fun Fact: In most men, the left testis hangs lower than the right one.
Sperm production takes about 74 days to complete. The testes contain highly coiled seminiferous tubules in which the male sex cells are initially produced and stored. The tubules collect into ducts, which leave into one single tube called the epididymis. It lies along the back surface of each testis. In this a twenty-foot long tightly coiled threadlike tube sperm is stored and matured. After storage they are released into the vas deferens. The vas deferens are two small tubes that carry the sperm into the fluid producing glands. The prostate gland, the seminal vesicles, and the Cowper’s glands produce the secretions that become part of the seminal fluid. This is the liquid in which the sperm swim. It provides the sperm with its motility and nutrition. The sperm makes up 2% of the ejaculate and the other fluids the remaining 98%.
When it comes to the process of ejaculation, here is what occurs. First we have the emission stage. Nerve impulses located in the ejaculatory center of the spinal cord cause rhythmic contractions to occur with the epididymis, the vas deferens, the seminal vesicles and the prostate gland. These contractions move the contents of these glands and ducts into the urethra, where they combine to make semen. This is when we reach the point where the man in question feels the inevitability of cumming. Then, we have the expulsion stage. The muscles at the base of the penis contract rhythmically and expel the semen from the urethra in sudden spurts. The average volume of the semen is ½ to 1 teaspoonful.
Well, that is the composition and mechanics of male ejaculate. Let’s move onto some of the more alluring aspects of the experience…
Come On Out
I am going to break it into two categories: internal and external. The most common reason in ever day sexual experiences for ejaculating outside of one’s partner is “coitus interuptus”. Not a very good form of birth control, the withdrawal method (also called “pulling out”) is said to be one of the best ways to become parents.
Not-So-Fun Fact: The withdrawal method has a 30% failure rate. Compared to oral contraceptives, which have an 8% failure rate and condoms, which have a 15% failure rate.
Once you leave your teenage years, external cumshots have more to do with exploration, fantasy, power dynamics and fun than conception prevention (let’s hope so though not everyone has access birth control).
So when it comes to non birth control reasons, where do most guys want to come? I haven’t been able to find any hard statistics about it, but from personal experience (on and off camera), the face is a popular one. Some people see this act (known as a facial) as being demeaning to women. My gal friend Jennifer thinks that is bullshit. “When I sit down on my boyfriend’s face and squirt all over him, no one says that is degrading. If he leaves his juices on my face, I do not see it any differently. It is a beautiful experience.”
I tend to agree. Unless, the guy in question is saying mean and rude things without the gal’s consent, I cannot see how a facial ejaculation is degrading. And I think that applies to most any act, sexual or otherwise. If people are doing it out of some fun loving, then it is a fun and loving thing. It’s about the attitude. My friend Jackie is another big fan of the facial. She enjoys taking it on the face and playing with it a bit. It makes her feel sexy. I agree with this though it was not always the case for me.
I remember the first time a guy came on me. I asked him to do it. I was attracted to the idea of him covering me with his fluid. I had never seen any kind of explicit porn or read anything referring to ejaculation in an erotic way. The idea of being covered in his semen came from my own imagination. Unfortunately, the end result was disappointing. I think I expected there to be gallons of it. When my guy came inside me quite a bit seeped out over the next couple of hours. At least it seemed like a lot. A misperception on my part. The volume was the same. The experience was different. It just was not what I had fantasized about.
Later on I began exploring again the whole “come on me” encounter. This time I had more realistic expectations. I had a better understanding of the difference between what I fantasized in my head and the reality of the situation. Consequently, I was much more easily satisfied by the experience of having him explode onto me. I found it to be a whole lot of fun.
We tried having him come on my breasts, on my ass, on my face, and on my feet. He also came on himself with my help and with his own hand. We had less options due to aim and reach, but we tried out a lot of possibilities. All good stuff.
I didn’t enjoy the come in the eye thing though. It just burns, and when it comes to sex, I have found burning to be a turn off ,not a turn on. I have yet to meet someone who enjoys that kind of burn. Though there seems to be exceptions for everything.
Come On In
When it comes to porn you do see a whole lot of external comeshots. The reasoning seems to be that it offers proof of the guy’s orgasm. Too bad we can’t have that with women. It would make both porn and every day sex a little simpler for the folks who wonder, “did she come?”.
There is another reason that external comeshots abound in porn. Sexual entertainment. Seeing a guy come on a pretty gal can be a real turn-on people.
Yes, there are also an absolute tonne of come shots that are done in a degrading way. The only explanation I have for that is some folks have associated misogyny (as well as the feelings of male dominance, shame and taboo) with sexual pleasure. It’s a very real thing. As a porn performer I have received very bad treatment from ‘fans’, but because I am in charge of my own working conditions I have had the ability to make what I create and how I create it about my own desires and reflect my fun sex loving perspective. This is not the case for everyone and we have the porn to prove it. This for me is a shame. My answer is to keep doing hat I am doing as loudly and happily as possible.
That being said, different people have different preferences when it comes to what they like to see versus what they like to do. If you take porn as your model for what most people do sexually, then you would think external popshots are the norm, but like most forms of entertainment, porn should not be used as an example of how most people have sex. It is a visual aid for arousal and entertainment, not a documentary of a typical sexual event.
So with that in mind, I decided to get to the truth of the matter. I decided to do an informal, totally unscientific, poll of some of my straight friends (both in and out of the porn industry) to find out what they enjoy when it comes to come.
Most of the guys and gals said that having the guy come inside was the ideal. People of both sexes said they enjoyed the act of intercourse and the build up to his orgasm. When the guy ejaculates inside (vaginally usually, but anally as well), my friends said it feels good both physically and emotionally.
Fun Fact: Once ejaculated, sperm have a life expectancy within the female reproduction tract from 48 to 72 hours.
It seems recently the internal comeshots is making a resurgence. I think it has to do with the use of condoms in everyday life. For good reason more people, both in and out of the sex industry, are taking responsibility for protecting their partners and themselves from STI’s. However, it has become almost taboo to exchanging bodily fluids (rightly so – it’s dangerous). So seeing a cream pie (when the ejaculate oozes out of the vagina) seems to be a hot new commodity in porn. I think it also fetishizes it for those of us who are strict with condoms because we are on the dating scene. It admittedly feels better for guys (and many gals) to have sex without a condom, but for safety and birth control purposes it is not an option for many people. So coming inside bare back, as the saying goes, can be very alluring in a world where we depend on condoms for ensuring our health and well-being.
When it comes to swallowing a man’s ejaculate, there is also some debate. Some see it an important expression of acceptance. others a power exchange because it doesn’t usually taste very good. Unfortunately, some people have a gag reflex and have trouble having cum in their mouth, much less swallowing it. I am sorry to say I do not know of any foolproof tips on how to handle this circumstance, but based on my research I do have a few suggestions that may help.
The texture of ejaculate can vary depending on the individual, his age and how recent he has previously ejaculated. Younger guys tend have larger loads than older guys. The size of the load is also said to increase with prolonged abstinence. So if swallowing is an issue, perhaps if the guy has already come one or two times already that day, the third time will be less troublesome for swallowing.
After ejaculation the semen changes from a liquid to a gel like consistency and then back to a liquid. Swallowing or licking up the come might be easier to do when the ejaculate is in its liquid form (rather than the gel like congealed form). If your gal is determined, but has that gag reflex, it might be worth a shot (pun totally intended!).
There are some food choices that might make the task (and the substance) more palatable. Dropping dairy from one’s diet is said to help, as does avoiding asparagus and alkaline-based foods such as meat and fish (which can produce a bitter taste). Acidic foods, such as fruits, sweets, and alcohol are supposed to give bodily fluids a pleasant, sugary flavour. For example, the much talked about pineapple. I personally have not found this to be helpful with the guys I have swallowed from (With? What is the right phrasing for this?). My personal experience tells me some guys taste good, others upset my stomach and there is nothing either they or I can do about it. This is a big bummer because I do enjoy swallowing from time to time.
The most important suggestion I have is communication and finding room for compromise. Consider safety and health when making your choices. Make it fun which may mean making it ‘dirty’ – but figure that out together without pressure or demands. Compromise might be the way to go.
Gentlemen, you might want to try something you don’t adore doing in exchange for her trying something she doesn’t adore doing. A little tit for tat?
The bottom line though is that no one should be forced to do anything they do not want to do. The exception being those little sperms that, no matter where they end up, must swim as if their lives depend on it!
Originally published at Seska for Lovers 2004.