Background

Body piercing is an ancient and widespread art. In Rome (1st century A.D.) nipple piercings were a sign of bravery for men in the military and used to attach their cloaks. Male musicians and actors often pierced their foreskins so that they could have golden rings, coins and other charms inserted there. Rings attached to the foreskin were said to enhance female pleasure during sexual intercourse. Genital piercings are depicted and described in the Kamasutra, the Sanskrit sexual treatise of the 4th and 7th centuries. Mayans (300-900 A.D.) had extravagant body modifications that included piercing of the ears, nose, lips, navel and genitals. Various other types of piercings are also common in Borneo, South America and Africa, among other places.

Modern piercing as we know it in the West began in the 1970′s with the punk and BDSM subcultures (though some individuals who did not identify with these scenes also practiced body piercing). As techniques, materials and pricing improved, piercing increased in popularity and became more mainstream. With actors, singers and musicians having eyebrow, cartilage and navel piercings, it has also become fashionable in youth culture. Similarly with the fetish scene, which has in a way been appropriated by conventional society and media, genital, nipple and tongue piercing has become popular among other “sexual deviants” and rebels.

While some people get pierced for cultural, spiritual or ideological reasons, piercing is also done for sexual pleasure. The visual impact of a piercing can be reason enough for someone to have their genitals, nipples and/or tongue pierced. Beauty, while a subjective judgement, is without a doubt connected to sexuality and arousal. Still, the sensual effect of such piercings is usually foremost in someone’s choice in their selection of this particular body art. For most, there is an increase in sensitivity. Yet, it can also cause numbness if there are too many in one area, if it is improperly done, or just by chance.

Some Considerations

Selecting a piercer is an important decision. Piercing guns, while common for ear piercings at the shopping mall are not to be used for other piercings. Do stay away from anyone who pulls one out. Of course, proper hygiene measures are essential. All tools should be properly sterilised, new needles should be used each time, and fresh latex gloves worn for each procedure. Basically, it should have the precautions of a dentist’s office. The décor is hopefully better.

You can always look in the Yellow Pages to find a piercer, but that is not recommended. Ask around and get personal recommendations. If you would like a rare or technically challenging piercing, it is essential that you find someone who specializes in that.

As for jewellery you have the option of rings or barbells, both in a variety of shapes, sizes and weights. They are typically made of surgical stainless steel, so as to avoid infection, but there are other options. Once the piercing has healed you can change the jewellery and use one that is made of other metals and materials.

The most common pieces of jewellery is the bead ring, which is a ring with a bead that screws in at the ends, and the captive bead ring, which is a ring fasted with a bead that is held in place by tension. Another common piece is the barbell. It is a long post with beads that screw into both ends. Like rings they can come in a variety of shapes. Jewellery size is measured by the Brown and Sharpe Gauge System. The smaller the gauge, the thicker the jewellery will be. Typically, initial piercings are done with a twenty, eighteen or sixteen gauge.

Once pierced, your piercer will give you after-care information. Ultimately, you have to keep the piercing clean. Never touch it without washing your hands properly first. Depending on who you ask, it is recommend that it be cleaned with either warm salt-water or liquid anti-bacterial soap three times a day. Check with your piercer for which method is right for you. Sex should be avoided for at least a week for genital piercings. Afterwards, to avoid any infection, condoms and dams must be used until you are completely healed.

Sources

Miller, Jean-Chris. (1997). The Body Art Book: A Complete Guide to Tattoos, Piercings, and Other Body Modifications. New York: Berkley Books.

Originally published at Seska for Lovers 2001.

 

 

I got these glasses a few weeks ago. I realized I have not posted a photo of them on my blog. I wanted a more square shape. I still have (and love) my modern cat eye glasses, but it was time for a bit of change. I’d love to see a photo of you and your glasses. Your face and your glasses please. Twit pic and send me the link.

iPhone pic of me in my new glasses (prescription -5.5)


 

From Guest Author Sebastian Yeung

Buying your first sex toy, but can’t choose the right dildo, vibrator, massager or stimulator? There’s so many choices out there! How do you pick the right toy for you?
What do you look for? Is it colour? Shape? Size? Or how impressed your friends or partner will be?

Choosing your first sex toy can almost be like a meditation on your personal needs & desires. It’s a gift you give to yourself. When you consider the range of toys available on the market, ask yourself: ‘what gives me pleasure?’ Remember, every woman’s body is unique. There is no ‘right way’, or ‘wrong way’ to stimulate yourself. With that in mind where do you start?

First, let’s distinguish between the different types of toys available.

Dildos are non-vibrating toys that are inserted in the vagina or anus. Dildos that are made specifically for anal play should have a flared base, to prevent the toy from being lost.

Vibrators is a term for any toy that vibrates. They come in all shapes & sizes, from micro-vibes that fit under your clothes, to huge, plug-in models that resemble other home appliances.

Massagers are vibrators, by another name. They are usually made by the same companies that make your home appliances (Hitachi, GE, etc.), and are packaged & marketed in a non-sexual, neutral manner. You can find massagers in major department or drug stores. Some of them can be quite large (like the Hitachi Magic Wand); others can have interchangeable attachments.

The old cliché ‘Your eyes are bigger than your stomach’, definitely applies to dildos, and vibrators for penetration. For your first toy, it’s a good idea to start small. When we see dildos on the shelf or in the catalogues, they all look impressive, but unless you know how much you can take, it can be disappointing (and discouraging), if you choose a dildo that is too large and uncomfortable for your body.

There are a couple of ways to size yourself at home. First is the ‘Cucumber Test.’ Peel a cucumber and taper it so that it is narrower at the tip, and widens at the base. Insert the cucumber gently, and when you feel the stretch that you like, measure the diameter at that point. Generally, most dildos & vibrators are around 1 1/2″ in diameter (the same width as an average erect penis). The slimmest toys are 1/2″, and can be as wide as 4″. Do not be intimidated by the length of the toy. They are generally 6 – 7″ long, although some of them can be as short as 2″, or as long as 30″. They do not need to be inserted completely. Use the end of the dildo as a handle to direct the toy inside you. The other test is to insert 2 or 3 fingers, then use the width of your fingers to measure the dildos in the store.

Depending on your preference, you can find toys that are either hard, or soft. Hard toys can be made of chrome, hard plastic or acrylic (lucite). Some women prefer the power of a hard vibe (especially for deep, G-spot orgasms). They are more direct, and they carry vibrations better.

Softer toys are usually made of two materials: latex rubbers or silicone. Latex is the more common (and less expensive) material. It’s soft, pliable and moulds easily to the body. It can be opaque, or clear (jelly). Because it is soft, it acts as a buffer for vibrations. It absorbs some of the vibes, creating a smooth, gentle massage. The versatility of jellies & latex allows them to be moulded into any shape & size.

There is currently a growing trend towards silicone toys. In the past, they were rare and difficult to find, as the manufacturers are small, cottage industries. But with growing health concerns (latex allergies, the need to sterilize toys), and with discriminating consumers demanding better quality & original artistic designs, silicone is becoming the material of choice. Silicone toys are unique, because they are hand-made in small batches. It is hypo-allergenic and non-porous, so it does not absorb lubricants (or your natural juices), creating a smoother, silkier feeling. It is resistant to temperature, so you can sterilize it in boiling water (for 3 min), or pop it in the fridge for a cool sensation. It is firmer than latex, but supple and flexible at the same time. Because the original toys are hand-crafted by artisans, they are slightly more costly (but well worth it). Many people build their collection one piece at a time.

A new material has been developed recently. Sometimes it is known as ‘cyberskin’ or ‘futurotic’ material. These are silicone compounds that have been processed to resemble & feel exactly like human skin. Like all silicones, they are easily cleaned & sterilized. As well, these toys are a bit more delicate, so do be careful not to let them rip or tear. To keep them fresh, they need to be washed, then powdered with cornstarch to keep them from sticking.

If you care for your toy, it will last you for ages. Clean latex toys in water & vinegar. If they are dildos (no motors), then you can pop them in a sink full of soapy water. Some people throw them in the dishwasher, but it depends on how durable your toy is. Silicone toys can be washed & boiled, or tossed into the dishwasher. Cyberskins should only be washed by hand and left to dry on the counter. All vibrators must be washed by hand, with care that the motor does not get wet.

Good luck, and happy vibing.

Originally published at Seska for Lovers 2001.

 

 

Happy Monday everyone! It feels like a happy one for me. The sun is up. The sky is big and blue. I made myself a cup of delicious coffee. I had to grind the beans myself because I forgot to do it yesterday at the awesome 100% organic shop near my place, but . Its also a happy Monday because I woke up to two cats inches from my face and their whiskers grazing my nose. Sure, I wanted to sleep some more. I had gone to bed the night before at 12:30AM and it was 6:43AM. More sleep was needed. However, it is a happy feeling to be needed and those cats need me.

Other happy things for me on this day is I followed up on some advice I got from a personalized reading with Ophira of www.astrostyle.com.  I ordered the book Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller which explores the North and South Nodes of the Moon in astrological charts. Now, if astrology is not for you, that is fine. However, I think you should keep reading anyway because it brought be some great insights. You may not agree with the way in which I got them, but I think you might appreciate the insights themselves. I know I have.

So, during my reading Ophira explained to me what the North and South Nodes of the Moon represent in your astrological chart – something I was not familiar with. As soon as I had it explained to me I knew this was amazing information that could change my life. Really. And it is one that fits with all the other amazing, yet often painful, insights I have been having in my personal growth work, therapy and from the other resources I have been learning from.

As my regular readers know I have been in a state of flux. I ended my marriage in 2010, I had a very messy rebound relationship, and I have been at a loss regarding what to do professionally. My well used ways and ideas have not been working for me for a long time. Like a sweater that once fit but no longer does, I was in need of something new and sized for me as I am now. Yes, these old skills and thought processes may have served me well in the past, but not anymore. So what is up with that? Looking at the South and North Nodes of my astrological chart helped me see what was/is going.

The South Node reveals the gifts that you bring into this lifetime, your sweet spot, your comfort zone. You will be innately good in these areas of life, and may begin your early path based on your South Node leanings. While this can bring a sense of satisfaction, it is unlikely to elevate you to Blissville. There’s a sense of “been there, done that” in the field of South Node activities. And indeed you have: in many past lifetimes.

The North Node is the exact opposite. It illuminates the terrain that’s calling your name, but climbing to the peak of this mountain is like trekking up Mt. Everest. You’ll have to lighten up your baggage and enlist a proverbial Sherpa to get you up that hill. It’s your learning curve. North Node activities require you to stretch out of your comfort zone. Once you do, you’ll be amazed by how fulfilled you feel. It’s like the activation of your life’s mission. The sooner you align yourself with this path, the more purpose-driven your life will become.

- Ophira and Tali of Astro Style

And for me specifically that means I need to release these traits:  attention-seeking, the desire for drama and materialism, and embrace these traits: team spiritedness, a sense of purpose and sustainable living.

Indeed! It all it makes sense!

I have explored with my therapist how easy it is for me to be a sexual superstar, how easy it is for me to get caught up in drama. It feeds me, but only on a furious, energetic ego driven level. It does not bring me happiness. It does not bring me a sense of calm. It brings me the exact opposite. It drives me bonkers. Still, getting out of my comfort zone feels to me much like the physical growing pains of adolescence, lots of ouch combined with its meant to be. It feels uncomfortable but it feels right.

Is it not interesting that I as struggled with what I find is easy but unfulfilling that I joined the board of directors for Head and Hands – a not profit organization that provides health, legal and social services for people 12-25? Is it not interesting that I have been trying to bring the burlesque community together and support emerging artists with projects like the Montreal Burlesque Social Club and Acme Burlesque? Is in not interesting that I felt stifled by limiting my online activities to porn and created Seska for Lovers and Seskuality to broaden my horizons and those of my website visitors?

Indeed! It all it makes sense!

I am very much looking forward to getting the book. I want to learn more about this release and embrace. I know at my core I must continue doing it because when I do it I feel like I am wearing a cozy sweater that was made to order, made with lots of love too.  Ah, fashion as spiritual analogy. What fun!

Please leave a comment if any of this resonates with you. I share my struggles and my successes with you because I love the connection this wild world wide web offers us.  I love it when you share your experiences with me!

 

 

Here is an essay I wrote in 2000 on how I came about to creating and running my own Amateur XXX website and some of the expected and unexpected results of this choice. I find it interesting and important to look back because it helps me see where I am today and to look forward towards tomorrow. Kind of like the Warrior 2 pose in yoga. I really love that pose. But I digress.

-

I discovered online porn during the BBS days when I was living with roommates during university (in 1993). One good buddy of mine used to like to find extreme pictures and leave them on the desktop with the caption “click on this if you dare”. Of course we would all take the dare and then would see some horrid picture of (I have to censor myself due to my billing company – what I saw usually was violent or involved animals). I didn’t let these images dissuade me from looking for Internet sites. I just knew what I did not like from viewing them.

Once I got my own computer and internet connect it became the days of the world wide web and I found out what I truly enjoyed – it was information over tantalisation. I was eager to read up on some of my new sexual interests: fetish clothing, BDSM and swinging. I started local. I surfed for stores and clubs in my area. I read everything I could get my hands on that pertained to the rules and etiquette of the different scenes. It was very educational and gave me food for fantastical thought. At that point my boyfriend at the time James and I began attending fetish nights and we experimented with swinging. Overall, it was a learning experience which helped us figure out what were our turn-ons and what suited us best as a couple.

Around this same time (1996) I discovered a link to Carol Cox’s Amateur Site. It was a rich resource for me. Not only did it have pictures of real people having sex which I found very arousing, but it was also a door to another world for me. One I was terribly intrigued by.

James and I were quite excited that one of the most well known and successful Amateurs on the Internet happened to live in our city and we had the opportunity to get to meet her. We decided to attend one of her advertised gatherings. It was held at a local swingers’ club. We approached her at the beginning of the night and said hello. She introduced us to her husband and the four of us hit it off. In short order, we became good friends. It was with their encouragement and support that James and I decided to create an Amateur adult site of our own. We were now to become pornographers instead of being just viewers of it.

About two or three years before this, I had made an attempt to perform in front of the camera. It was for a personal video for James. We videotaped ourselves having sex. I actually did not enjoy looking at this particular video, but James enjoyed it immensely. I think I found it difficult to watch myself be sexual in combination with the imperfections I saw. I was quite critical of the low production quality of our tape (poor sound, poor lighting, and poor camera angles), as well as the faults I saw in my physical characteristics. I was very hard on myself. James was much more generous. He watched the video with the expectation of flaws and naturalness. He knew what he would see would be raw and real, but arousing as well.

When deciding to expose my self on the web I knew that based upon this past experience I would have to get past my body issues and worries about being imperfect. In the beginning I was concerned that I would feel insecure about my breasts. Porn is notorious for massive boobage, something I don’t have. I thought I would feel pressured to get a breast enlargement. I did briefly consider it, but I quickly realized I was happy with my breasts as they were. I was very happy with my body and felt celebrated for my own natural attributes. In fact, I rarely ever wear my old Wonder Bra anymore. Porn has been good for this girl’s self image in many ways.

Part of that has to do with the talks I had with James. He helped me realise that there is no such thing as the perfect woman or man for everyone. We all have our distinct tastes and preferences when it comes to erotic material and who we find attractive. Some people find me attractive and enjoy my pictures and others do not. It isn’t anything personal against me, but more about the diversity of human beings.

I think what also helped me do so was to look at my own tastes. When it comes to pure physical attraction, I like certain body shapes over others. What makes my head turn or my eyes stare tends to be a certain type of man and a certain type of woman. I definitely know I prefer brunettes over blondes (men especially). So, I knew among the millions of people on the Internet, there was bound to be a few people who liked my look just as there are people I am particularly fond of. After becoming aware of this, I quickly came to terms with it all.

One expectation I had that turned out to be correct was that running your own adult site is work. Yes, I get to have some crazy sexual experiences that many people can only dream about, but it is still work. If I have a cold, I still have to do those updates, perform for my webcams shows and write those journal entries. We also can’t be away from home very long because James and I update the site very regularly. If we vacation, we must be able to get online. That leaves out more exotic places to travel to. However, that is the boring stuff.

More fascinating, is the sex part of the work. Now, I am letting you in on a big secret here. Having sex for a living is work and it takes some effort to make fantasy come to life. Even with an Amateur site which reflects my actual sexual lifestyle there is some artifice to it. For example, I never used to schedule my sexual activities. Having a site has caused me to do so. My photoshoots and especially my webcam shows are scheduled. Every Tuesday night at 9 PM and Wednesday at noon I know I am going to be partaking in some sexual activity. It is not as spontaneous as the rest of my sex life. Lucky for me, I do work well with planning. It helps me get into a sexual frame of mind and then give a good show for the viewers. I know that some performers get bogged down by the arranging of their sexual exploits. It can make things difficult sometimes.

The other reality of pornography that I learned early on is that what looks best on film is the most uncomfortable position possible for the model. Yes, if you see someone in a sexy posed shot chances are their backs are killing them. With the live shows I don’t have the same problem because I am in motion. This is a good thing as it lets me enjoy the sex itself. However, as a performer who is also the camera-person (as James and I are), in the back of your mind you are always thinking about the camera. For me this is mainly a turn-on because I enjoy performing for interested parties. However, you do have to focus on the camera angles and choosing positions that will give the viewer the best possible show. Non-exhibitionist sex tends to be just a blur of humping asses and this does not make for the best porn.

This being the case, my experience as a pornographer has greatly influenced my view and appreciation of porn. I know the inside scoop. While the sex isn’t faked, it is contrived and it isn’t perfect. The performers, even with their beautiful bodies, have self image concerns, the men don’t always have dependable erections or orgasms and accidents happen. One time I fell over while having anal sex on camera. It was hilarious and real. With Amateur porn you can’t always edit out such bloopers. Yet by leaving them in, it can make the porn very accessible to the viewers. My life may be a fantasy for them, but it is one they can share and understand. It is not out of reach.

Some people are disappointed by what they perceive as flaws and mistakes in porn. It bursts their sexual bubbles. For them mainstream porn is a better option. It can have a beauty and an idealness that allows them to escape for a short time. Nevertheless, I think it is healthy to have some reality mixed in with your fantasy. It helps you see the performers as the complex people they are and see yourself and your partners in comparison as just as sexy and arousing.

When I am old and grey (or more likely still a brunette covering it up), I think I will look back at my life in porn as being a good experience. As a viewer of porn I have been given a gift of seeing sexual possibilities and enhancing imagery. As a pornographer, I have been able to share my experiences and insights with others and offer them a gift in return for their support. On a selfish note, all of it has allowed me to feel better about my body, my abilities and my value as a sexual being. Most importantly, I feel it has allowed me to see the same qualities in others.

Originally published at Seska for Lovers 2000.

 

 

I will be hosting (and offering a little surprise) this Wednesday at l’Assommoir Cabaret. Come early to get a table and enjoy a delicious meal (not included in the cover) while we ladies entertain you with neo burlesque striptease. I have a new outfit I am going to debut! Excited!

May 9th 2012 Assommoir Cabaret

Scarlett James and Girls Girls Girls

Assommoir Cabaret (209 Notre Dame O, Montreal)
8pm – $15

Starring: Scarlett James, L Diablo and Lou Lou

MC: Seska Lee

Stage Kitten: Christelle

 

 

I was away! I went on vacation! I didn’t use a computer and I only texted to let my friends and family know I arrived safely (OK, I also sent a couple of friends some texts about my observations). But still it was quite a tech free time. Instead, I spent my days reading, writing and swimming. I spent my nights looking at the stars and sleeping (having such wild and vivid dreams).

I stayed at a small resort . I think their maximum capacity is 80 people. There were about 40 when I went. Mostly seniors as well as a few younger couples and a handful of single men who expected a much more ‘fun’ resort. They approached me, not understanding that 1) I was there alone 2) That I wanted to be left alone and 3) How to leave me alone. I had to be blunt. It was the only unpleasant thing of my trip. The rest was exactly as I wanted it to be.

I wanted to be away from the singles-on-vacation scene. I had no desire for bars, discos and shows. I wanted to get away so I could regroup, think, process.  I wanted to give my broken heart some respite. It was the perfect trip for that. I journalled A LOT. I will go through it and see if I can find some goodies to share. In the meantime here are  a few pics I took. I also took video. I will need to edit it together before I can post it.


 

 Seska Lee Presents Acme Burlesque – April 5th 2012

MainLine Theatre (3997 St-Laurent Blvd, Montreal)
8pm – $15 + tax

Starring…

Cherry Typhoon
Delvida Douglas
Esmeralda
Jimmy Phule
Juicy Ricardo
Lady Hoops
The Lady Josephine
Penny Romanoff
Seska Lee
Sucre à la Crème

Music…

Mélodie Rabatel
Penus de Milo

Kittened by Miss Kitty

All numbers are performed to live music by Shayne Gryn and the Acme Combo !!!

Produced by Seska Lee and Shayne Gryn

With Support From…

hausmannphotography.com
mainlinetheatre.ca
OpenCo.ca
Rubiks.ca
Scarlett James – Grand Burlesque Show
Yelp.ca

 

 

The Grand Burlesque Show is tonight! (and Friday and Saturday)

Scarlett James and friends will take you on an Indiana Jones style adventure in search of the spririt of the jungle. Of course, this is a burlesque so it is a sparkly jungle filled with titilating ladies and gentlemen, song, dance and circus act. I am working behind the scenes of this amazing show, but I do have an onstage cameo or two. See if you can spot me!

Here is a little write-up for the event in today’s Montreal gazette.

March 29th, 30th & 31st, 2012

Club Soda
1225 boul. St Laurent
7pm
Tickets: $55 – $80 – $125 +fees

Starring: Scarlett James, Lada Redstar, Jett Adore, La Divina, L Diablo, Lou Lou la Duchesse de Rière, and more!

Variety Acts: Andreane Leclerc, Gabriel Langlier, Catherine, and Que Brazil

Host: Benjamin Marquis

 

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