We have all heard some horror story of a person in desperate need of a condom and trying to use whatever they have handy as one. A sandwich baggie was the item used in the anecdote I heard. Now that sounds comfy! Thankfully, we do have very reliable and much more enjoyable alternatives to something from the Glad Man -proper condoms either made of latex or polyurethane.

Background

There are ancient cave paintings showing a man wearing a condom during sexual intercourse. They are 12 000 to 15 000 years old and the earliest known documentation of condom use. By the sixteenth century condoms were known to be used to protect against sexually transmitted diseases (A Dr. Condom, the earl of Condom, is said to have designed a penile shaft for King Charles II to prevent him from contracting venereal disease) and by the eighteenth century to prevent unwanted pregnancy. It seems it took people a little longer to realize how babies were made, but they figured out where that itch, drip or sore came from rather quick. While the original condoms were made of less effective materials (both for sexual pleasure -like oiled linen and vulcanized rubber- and as birth control and STD prevention -like sheep intestines and fish membranes), they were a step in the right direction.

In the past one hundred years there have been mixed messages about sexuality and condom use and this has been especially the case in the United States. During Word War I some U.S. allies gave their troops condoms to prevent sexually transmitted infections. The U.S. Army chose to encourage chastity and consequently reported a yearly sexually transmitted infection (STI) rate of 766.55 per 1,000 for 1919 alone.

Certain groups have continued to push for chastity as the cure to many of our societal woes. They knock down condoms, saying they lead to promiscuity and the increase in STIs such as HIV and cervical cancer. The truth of the matter is that condoms are effective in preventing unintended pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. They are the only birth control method that is under a man’s control and the best barrier method available at this time for safer sexual intercourse. They are also inexpensive, found in most pharmacies (and corner stores, bars, restaurants, etc…), easy to dispose of (maybe a little too easy for those folks who like to litter), have minimal side effects (for those with latex allergies, you can use non-latex condoms such as Avanti), and can allow for longer-lasting sex play. I say, “condoms rock!”

A Few Facts

Of 100 women whose partners use condoms inconsistently or imperfectly, 14 will become pregnant in the first year of use. Only 3 will become pregnant if condoms are used perfectly.
Condoms are effective protection against sexually transmitted bacterial infections such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, trichomoniasis, and syphilis.

The risk of HIV transmission with a condom is reduced – as much as 10,000-fold.

Condoms offer some protection against viruses such as human papilloma virus (HPV) and herpes simplex virus (HSV) that infect the general genital area. These viruses can “shed” to areas not covered by a condom, but a condom does decrease the risk of infection.

Oral sex, like intercourse and anal sex, is considered a high-risk sexual activity. Unprotected oral sex puts both partners at risk for a number of STIs, whether they are giving or receiving genital stimulation. These infections include gonorrhea, syphilis, chancroid, herpes, hepatitis B, cytomegalovirus, HPV, herpes, and, rarely, HIV.

A condom can be cut in half and spread over the entire vulva area for safer oral sex performed on a woman.

How to Use a Condom (from Scarleteen – used with permission)

1) Use a good quality condom that is new, that hasn’t been kept anywhere here it can get too warm or cold (it isn’t a good idea to keep them in your wallet or pocket for that reason).

2) Open the condom wrapper carefully, and roll it out a little so that the edge is rolled on the outside of the condom. Put a few drops of water-based lube (like Astroglide or KY Liquid) inside the tip of the condom. Only put a condom on AFTER there is a partial or full erection (after the penis has “gotten hard”).

3) Squeeze the tip of the condom with your fingertips to leave some extra space in the tip, and roll the rest down the length of the penis, still pinching the top.

4) Put some more water-based lube of the outside of the condom, and you’re good to go. While you are using the condom, you or your partner do not need to hold its base: condoms are designed for hands-free use.

5) After he has an orgasm and ejaculates (or doesn’t but you’re finished having sex), hold the base of the condom (the rolled-up part) with your hand and hold it with your other hand by the tip. Pulling it off by the tip alone not only makes a big mess, you could drip all over yourself what you just worked so hard to keep out.

6) Throw the condom away – NEVER reuse condoms. Never use two at a time to try and be “extra safe.” Both of them will most likely break, and it just doesn’t work. One condom, used properly, is as safe as it gets. If that isn’t safe enough for you, don’t have sex yet. Really.

Some Extra Tips

If you are uncircumcised, push your foreskin back while you’re putting the condom on. Once most of your penis is covered, you can push the foreskin up again gently.

Lubrication is really important. Condoms have a high rate of success, but that rate drops when they aren’t used properly, and one of the easiest ways to break a condom is by letting it get dry. Buy some lubricant when you buy condoms. Not only will it help them work better, well-lubricated sex is more enjoyable sex for both you and your partner. Do NOT use butter, oil, Vaseline or ANY lubricant other than lubricants intended for use with condoms. If you could buy it in an aisle in the store where food also is, it probably isn’t the right kind of lube.

Condoms don’t have to be a pain. Don’t try and rationalize your way out of using one, or put up with a partner who does: you’ll both need to get used to using them for a good part of your life, and even if one partner lets you get away with it, you can be sure another one won’t. Condoms keep you both safe, and when you don’t have to worry about getting diseases or getting pregnant, sex is a lot more fun.

You need to wear a condom during oral sex just as much as during vaginal or anal sex. Most STDs and transmitted through bodily fluids and mucus membranes…both of which exist in and on your genitals and your mouth.

When it comes to condoms, don’t scrimp. If you can’t afford them, check out your local Planned Parenthood clinic. They often give them out for free.

As far as comfort level and enjoyment, as well as durability, at Scarleteen we are partial to Durex brand condoms and Kimono brand condoms. Be SURE the lube you use is WATER-BASED. Other lubricants can destroy condoms.

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This post, Chance of Showers, Raincoats Recommended, originally appeared on Seska on February 21, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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I have 5 left to give away. International addresses are fine!

All the postcards have been spoken for. I will have a new batch in April from the next show. Stay tuned!

seskalee@gmail.com

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This post, would you like a postcard?, originally appeared on Seska on February 21, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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Scarlett et Girls Girls Girls! – February 29th, 2012

L’Assommoir Nôtre Dame (209 Nôtre Dame O, Montreal)
7-9pm – $15

MC: Seska Lee

Starring: Scarlett James, Elle Diabloe and LouLou

Kittened by Cristelle

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This post, Dinner Cabaret Performance – February 29th 2012, originally appeared on Seska on February 21, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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Let’s just say it reminded me a little bit of someone I used to know *. But it also got me to thinking about the situation in general. That part I saw was interesting to me because I have often wondered how men stay friends with guys who they know to be jerks to women when they themselves are not jerks in that manner. How do you reconcile things when your best buddy is an asshole to women? I think it might be because they are decent friends but just lousy boyfriends. I also wonder if there is some part of the ‘nice guy’ who lives vicariously through the womanizer.

Urban Dictionary
A selfish, narcissistic, nefarious character who needs to manipulate and use woman to feed his own childish, self serving ego. Has definite “ Mommy issues.” Will often seek out girls far too young, in hopes that they’ll be too naive to read his intentions. Not only will this type of predator pursue women relentlessly—using time, flattery & displaying a “sincere” interest in becoming close on an emotional/mental level—but will quickly lose interest once his true nature as a sodomizing bastard is uncovered. The fallout is ALWAYS the woman’s fault, as his ego cannot handle the reality of his own fucked up behavior.

Free Online Dictionary
Noun: womanizer - a man who likes many womenand has short sexual relationshiops with them.
Synonyms
philanderer: one who engages in many love affairs, especially with a frivolous or casual attitude. Used of a man.
Casanova: any man noted for his amorous adventures
Don Juan: any successful womanizer (after the legendary profligate Spanish nobleman)
debauchee, libertine, rounder: a dissolute person; usually a man who is morally unrestrained
Lothario: a successful womanizer; a man who behaves selfishly in his sexual relationships with women
masher, skirt chaser, woman chaser, wolf: a man who is aggressive in making amorous advances to women

It also got me to thinking of how I as a female friend handle knowing other women who behave badly with men. I have known some to cheat and lie. I have know others who do things that one would consider manipulative, competitive and distrusting. What I have come to believe is a lot of this behaviour is coming from a place of fear. That is where most of my own bad behaviour comes from. When I make mistakes (big and small) with love and sex it is usually because I am searching for a way to not feel pain and loneliness. Of course, these mistakes do not lead to anything close to long term fulfillment. The opposite is true. I end up feeling more empty and sad than before. Classic addictive behaviour. I am definitely a love junkie. Realizing this about myself (and what is my true motivation) has helped me be less judgmental when other women behave badly. That has been a big lesson – and one I am still struggling with because when their bad behaviour affects me – well, it affects me.

The good news is that I have been able to share my shame over my mistakes with my closest friends and express my fear and pain. I find that my friends are supportive and do what they can to help me stay on the path of self-love, esteem and not compromising myself. My female friends do their best to not enable me. Do men do this? It seems when men behave badly their friends don’t stand in their way. They don’t challenge them. Or do they?

* I am so hooked on this song. Sorry neighbours for it being on repeat.

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This post, Womanizer, originally appeared on Seska on February 19, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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To see the full HD version visit X-Art.

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This post, 18+ Couples Porn Video, originally appeared on Seska on February 19, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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This post, 18+ Couples Porn Pics, originally appeared on Seska on February 17, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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Now we are mid-month and I have to make sure I do not take on any more work or meetings so I can tackle my to-do list. There is so much I want to get done. Yes, taxes are on the list. So is a major floor scrubbing (I did the kitchen and hallway – still do are the bathroom and the bedroom). I also have a bit of paperwork to do for my webmaster business and the very unpleasant forms to fill out for my divorce. I have kind put my head in the sand regarding that. It makes me sick to my stomach but it needs to be done. We both need to move on. I suppose because I am the one that did the leaving he is expecting for me to do the initial filing. I am not sure. We are not talking. Why is it so much easier to get married than it is to get divorced?

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My burlesque show was an incredible success. That bit of bliss lingered quite a bit. It seems this first show is only the beginning an inspiring and exciting project. All hail Acme Burlesque!

I started performing burlesque in 2003 as a way to explore old fashioned sexy entertainment while never denying or apologizing that I was also a porn performer.  I have a holistic view of my life. I am able to compartmentalize, but at the end of the day my many experiences, interests, dreams, hopes, trials and tribulations make up one person – me. I enjoyed using porn to express this but it has its limits and challenging consequences. When I discovered burlesque I decided to use it as another way to express myself. It sure was energizing then as it is now to have an artistic performance medium to help me do so. I got hooked! What a fun, sparkly, dramatic, and silly thing to love and be a part of!

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Oh yes, I just remembered something else that also what took up a chunk of time. My birthday immediately followed the premier Acme Burlesque show. It was an amazing day. I went to Le Scandinave in the afternoon. It is free to do 3 hours of circuit on your birthday. I did that and got a massage thanks to a gift certificate. It was heavenly. The experience kept me floating in my little bliss bubble for many hours after. I guess this past week has been about popping that bubble and dealing with tense and unpleasant life experiences. Bleh.

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This post, Méli Mélo, originally appeared on Seska on February 15, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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First a disclaimer. Whether you choose to shave, trim or let your body hair grow, it is all a matter of personal taste. No one style is more attractive, clean or sexy than another. If you hit one of those pubic hair message boards you’ll see how people can not agree on this matter in any way. However, as someone who works in the sex industry I have received an absolute tonne of email asking for suggestions on how to shave (particularly my pubic hair). If I had a dollar for every time someone asked me about mine….

So I decided to address this prickly issue. Here is a little insight into how to shave your body hair, specifically your pubic hair. It basically works similarly for men and women and most hair types. Remember though that our bodies are all different and that includes our body hair. What works for one person might not work for another. These are general guidelines and not set in stone. If you chose to follow them, you do so at your own risk.

Shaving

If this is your first time shaving, you should consider using an electric trimmer to trim the long hairs down to a manageable length for shaving. If you plan on leaving any hair there, keep that in mind and don’t over trim that section.

It is then suggested that you take a warm bath. Washing first and soaking hairs lets them plump up a bit and they are said to be easier to shave that way. I suppose a shower would do, but personally I don’t get as smooth a result when I shave any part of my body in the shower (plus, I always cut my legs or miss parts on pubic area). Other people may be more comfortable there. I know some men prefer to shave in the shower. It is an individual choice.

After rinsing with a bit of cool water, shaving cream can then be applied. One thing to watch out is highly perfumed brands. I find the genitals can be very sensitive to these. You might want to use what ever you typically use to shave your bikini line and be careful when applying it on to the outer labia. Shaving creams with aloe are often recommended.

At this point select a sharp, fresh blade for shaving. After one or two strokes, rinse the blade. You can shave against the grain for the closest shave but this can lead to ingrown hairs. Experimentation may be needed. For myself, I found that I need to go with the grain on my thighs, bikini line and anywhere near my bum. I can shave against the grain on my outer labia, calves and underarms.

Afterwards, rinse off and clean the shaved area with soap. I use an antibacterial soap to prevent infection because I am prone to pimples. Regular soap should serve most people well.

Following your shower or bath, you can apply talcum powder or cornstarch to the dry shaved area. This can reduce irritation. Similarly, a trick I picked up from strippers is to apply deodorant to the area.

Maintenance

To keep the ingrown hairs away, you are going to have to exfoliate. A loofah sponge is an option as are those exfoliating gloves (my choice). There are some solutions that say they help prevent ingrown hairs (i.e. Tend Skin). Some people have found them to be very useful.

Obviously, to keep the area smooth you are going to have to shave regularly. In the adult business, we tend to shave every second day. It is time consuming, but once it is part of your routine it is not overwhelming. Shaving often, but not too often, also helps reduce the itch factor. As the hair grows back it can become uncomfortable. Either you have to let it grow back or keep shaving regularly. It is your choice.

Waxing

Waxing is a more painful procedure but it can be satisfying way to remove body hair including pubic hair. Here are some recommendations for proponents of waxing.

First time waxers should begin with less delicate areas before attempting pubic hair removal.

Pre-treatment

Hair should be 1/8 to 1/3 inch long. Any longer and it should be trimmed. At 1/8 it should not be more stubborn or think hair or the results will not be as good.
Go with freshly clean skin, no moisturizer or deodorant (if you’re doing the underarm).
Don’t go when your are premenstrual as you may be more sensitive to the pain.
Take an over the counter, anti inflammatory pain killer, if they suit you, an hour before the wax appointment
Post-treatment:

Beginning a day or so after treatment exfoliate, exfoliate, exfoliate!

Laser (section coming soon)

I have had laser hair removal on my under arms and I love it. It did hurt a bit, but now after three treatments I have about 5 hairs there. I am going to buy a package for an unlimited year of laser hair removal and get my legs and bikini line done. It will eventually save me so much time as I have to shave every day if I want to have smooth legs and such.

As I am new to laser hair removal, I am going to do a little research (read up and chat with my technician) and get back to you.

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This post, How To Shave Your Pubic Hair and Most Any Other Body Hair, originally appeared on Seska on February 14, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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To see the full HD version visit X-Art.

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This post, 18+ Couples Porn Video, originally appeared on Seska on February 12, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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This post, 18+ Couples Porn Pics, originally appeared on Seska on February 10, 2012. Want more Seska? Find her here.

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