A Little Less Conversation

I was out running today when the song A Little Less Conversation by Elvis Presley played on my iPod and I realized that this song pretty much sums up some sexual relationship stuff I have been dealing with lately. The interesting thing to me is that I have experienced it from both sides of the issue. Thinking about that made me laugh out loud. When I am in the midst of a peek emotional moment (good or bad) I don’t necessarily see the bigger picture or see the humour in a situation, but afterwards I tend to gain some perspective and appreciate the absurdity of what life has to offer. This happened twice to me recently and the situations themselves quite mirrored the song – just in different ways, with different results. This past summer I hooked up with a fellow I met at a party. I was on this flirty mission. I wanted to have some sexual fun and was quite determined about it. I hung out with a few guys (and a couple of girls). I finally set my sights on one and then I made my move in typical Seska fashion (direct yet clumsy). I told him I wanted to fuck and we should leave right away. I took him by the hand and we headed back to his hotel room. Once we got to his room we chatted a bit. Then we got naked and had sex. I think for sex between two people who had just met it was pretty good. Quite good actually. I really liked sucking his cock and from his reaction he enjoyed it too. We took our time. There was fucking, some dirty talk and then a shot to my breasts to end things off. After we were done he wanted me to stick around for a second round. It was 4 in the morning and I had been up for over 24 hours. I was beat. The two orgasms I had also played a role in that. I said my goodbyes and headed back to my room. The next day I called him up to find out when he was leaving. He said in the afternoon so I figured I would drop by his place and see him again. Now this is where the “a little less conversation” part comes into play. In the light of day I was feeling less forward. Sure, I assumed we would have sex, but I also thought we could chat a bit to get back to that comfort zone. He had other things in mind. I sat down in a chair and he lay back on his bed, pulled out his cock and began to stroke it. He didn’t need to chat. He was comfortable. He was ready. This was to be one of those no talk – all action situations. I was a little taken a back, but then I thought to myself how classic, how hilarious. I jumped on the bed and went with it. It felt like the rock 'n' roll thing to do. I am not shy when I have sex with new people. I like to look them in the eye. I feel comfortable asking for what I want and asking them what they want. Mutual pleasure is important to me. I want to enjoy myself. I want to come. I also want my partner to do the same. I want them to experience pleasure at my touch. I take pride in it and think I am pretty good in bed because of it. You could say I am a sexually confident woman. What I am not so good at is the chase. Maybe it is because I have not had much practice. Since the age of 18 I have always been in a relationship. I have never really dated. I have never played the field. Seduction is not my forté. I do not have all the right moves. My current situation does not help matters either. I have been in an open relationship for quite a few years now and have had many sexual partners, but for the most part they have been within the confines of my Amateur porn work. Getting together with other people in this situation does not require much flirting or style. If we hit it off, things progress naturally to sex. The experience is quite transparent. It is still exciting without the chase, but not quite as much as it is when you need to work to get what you want. When there is that build up. I suppose it is a trade off – certainty and safety for exhilaration and risk. The second scenario was deeply filled with exhilaration and risk. It began with a chance meeting. I didn’t expect much out of it. We live in different cities and travel in different circles. Over a few months we corresponded by way of text messages and a few phone calls. It became clear we had a mutual attraction, but given the circumstances I was not sure what to do. Now, when that happens to me I am prone to be impulsive. I want what I want – immediately. That is where the risk comes in. I take chances. I do not think things through. I leap before looking. It did not help that I became (and still am) quite smitten with this individual. I am not talking about having a big romantic love connection with him. This is lust, a very strong, hits me deep inside, kind of lust. A rather visceral kind of feeling. It is something rare for me and it makes me a little crazy (just ask James who has seen me go though this a couple of times or read my essay on crushes to get a sense of it). The trouble of course is there was no certainty attached to this situation. Within my usual realm of sexual opportunity it is quite clear what the destination is and how we will get there. This time I was playing a very different game with a very different partner. One I had no experience with. The fact that he is a very busy person and we were using less than intimate forms of communication did not help matters. I made attempts to connect with him and his responses were inspiring, but few and far between. Unwisely, it made me pursue him more (yea! for impulsivity). Sometimes I was witty, but mostly I was prolific (yea! for compulsivity). Somehow, he was still interested. After weeks of build up (and lots of masturbatory fantasies on my part) we made tentative plans, with hints of a sexual encounter. We met briefly at a café. It was in his stomping grounds, and given that he is a private person, I played it cool. We spoke about work and the like when what I really wanted to do was kiss him deeply and fuck him hard (or at least tell him about these thoughts). However, this was not the place to do that. Public displays of affection don't come easy to me and I did not think he would appreciate that kind of attention. That weekend we had one other possible opportunity to meet up, but he ended up being too busy with work. I lay in bed that night realizing that this was the most sexually frustrated I had ever been. This situation ended up being all talk and no action. I was Elvis in the song’s scenario and somehow I love the absurdity of that.