The Lifestyle
Happy Mother's Day to all the Mamans out there (that's French for mother and what I call mine). I'm going to visit my mother today as I am sure many of you are too. Other than that not much to report here. The weather has been extremely warm for May and very humid too. Last night I was in no mood for cooking because of the weather, so we went out with Alyka and Matt for supper at a local restaurant. No hanky panky afterwards, just a nice quiet evening. I found that the evening fit very nicely with a book I have been reading. "The Lifestyle: A Look at the Erotic Rites of Swingers" by Terry Gould. It is an extensive exploration of the lifestyle including everything from its biological and socio-cultural antecedents to the thoughts and experiences of soft to hardcore swingers. I absolutely love it. It is giving me insight into the world I live in.
From my experience and from observing those of others, I have learned how important friendships are for those involved in the lifestyle. Of course, there are some who enjoy anonymous encounters, but that certainly is not for me or for my friends. In my opinion, polyamourous relationships are so much more satisfying and pleasurable when the core is based on friendship. Sex is important of course, but really it is just another expression of the friendship and the closeness you feel for each other. I am really finding this to be true with Alyka and Matt. We care about each other and as a result of that, and our attraction to one another, we are able to also have amazing sex.
Of course, there are repercussions to this involvement. For James and I, it has brought us closer together. It intensifies our bond and heightens our sexual and emotional attraction. This is not unique. Many couples in the book said the same thing. I have to tell you I came to this conclusion long before I read or heard about it from anyone else. Though I must say I agree with one of the quotes in the book, "Swinging can make a good relationship better and a bad relationship worse". If things are not good between you and your partner, swinging won't solve your problems. Some of the things you have to have to swing is open communication and honesty. Well, it is something to think about!