Weekend Fling Part 1
As I began writing this out I had no idea it would be a multi-parter. So here we go with part one.
The background…
I have spent the past 18 months or so trying to figure out what I want in terms of my sex life. Well, actually I am always doing that as things are always in flux, evolving and I am always reassessing. I like to say I live in my head because it seems that is what I am forever doing— those wheels in my brain are constantly turning and I am relentlessly processing— trying to figure out what I want out of life and how to get it.
A big part of that is that I am trying to find some balance between having my porn site and having my poly relationships – especially mixing the commercial with the personal. For the most part, things are good. I feel good in my skin and content with my life. Of course, there is a big part of me that does want to try new things and be with new people. I am happy with my life, but I still desire and seek out new experiences.
I realized a good while ago that I am not much of a swinger. I prefer to have solo adventures. Sure, I enjoy meeting up with other couples, threesomes, and group sex, but I just don’t have the patience, skills or desire to jump through hoops trying to find partners to swap or swing with via clubs or online services. I prefer more spontaneity and I prefer the dynamic of a one-on-one situation. And so these past 18 months I have been actively exploring this with varying degrees of success. The pinnacle of embarrassment was the crush. I made quite a fool of myself. It was a complete regression to adolescent infatuation. James was supportive, but more than once he handed me the book He’s Just Not That Into You. I really should have read it.
In between my less than dignified crush moments I had some one-night stands, hook-ups, and flings. Some of them were really quite fun. Some were a little odd. Some were an exercise in going through the motions. Some a mix of all of those things. None of them terrible.
And now we find me in the midst of a weekend fling, something which has been quite different than the others. The dude is into me. Like in a fun, cool, genuine way. It is rather refreshing and very unexpected. I’ve got to remember what this is like so I won’t repeat the embarrassing chasing after guys behaviours of the past.
The details...
I'll have them for you in the next entry.