Past Present Future
Warrior Two is my favourite pose. I had an instructor tell me that when you are in Warrior Two pose you have one part of you looking at the past and all you have done, seen and learned, another part of you firmly in the present, living in the moment, and another part of you looking towards the futre. It really resonated with me. The pose feels good physically and emotionally for me.
I have dabbled in yoga for a few years. I regularly took a class at the YMCA. I have had a membership at a fantastic studio called Breathe. I have done yoga at home. I have done yoga outside. I have done it with friends. What I have not done is do it consitently for more than 1 year.This lack of consistency is a thread that runs through my whole life from childhood until now. This is something I want to change. Not just with yoga but with all aspects of my life. I know I need spontaneity and such things too, but I cannot live with only that. It is very draining and damaging. It is one reason I have been so out of sorts. Of course, I cannot expect for it to change over night. It is something I need to build over time.
When I think about consistency I think of words such as routine, regime, schedule and practice. And practice is the word I like best because it implies a work in progress and I like that. It also can be applied to individual interests and activities and the whole of who I am.
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I am on Day 4 of my 21 Day Crazy Sexy Diet Cleanse. I feel great today. I had some withdrawal-detox headaches and a crazy runny nose on Tuesday and Wednesday, but that seems to have subsided or even gone away.I neti potted today and it as the best it has ever been. I have issues with asthma and allergies. I have cleaned up my diet before and it helped to greatly improve my breathing and diminish my symptoms to almost none. My diet has absolutely sucked this past year (part of that whole rebellion thing) and my body is suffering because of it. It was one of the physical reasons I knew I need to clean up my diet again. Anyway, when I netti potted today it just flowed like a waterfall immediately as I started. It felt awesome.
Today I also did the most yoga I have done in maybe two years. Today’s poses.
4 Sun Salutations
1 Mountain Pose
1 Forward Bend
2 Triangle Poses
1 Forward Bend
2 Warrior Two Poses
1 Mountain Pose
2 Tree Poses
1 Sitting Forward Bend
3 Cow and Cat Combo
1 Child Pose
I have been adding 1 Sun Salutation a day. I am doing it flow style so it took me about twenty minutes to do this series today, but I am going to hold them longer and I would like to have a 30 minute practice by next week. I listen to spa style music with birds chirping in the background and I find it both relaxing and invigorating.
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One of the reasons I am doing the Crazy Sexy Diet 21 Day cleanse is to get me back on track. Or rather I feel like I just figured out where the track is and I am ready to get on it. My track - not anyone else’s. After a year of rebelling and trying all sorts of things, of hiding, of escaping, of tuning out - I feel I know myself better. I know what I value more than ever before. I know what I want in my life. I feel like its time to put the focus on me and living the life I want to lead.
Great what a bit of a nervous breakdown, a year of therapy and and whole lot trial and error will do to a gal.