Reflections On a Turn On

Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines - Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run

I have this attraction that goes against my better judgement. It doesn’t feel reasonable. I know it is not environmentally friendly. It is often risky. This turn on has been part of my sexual psyche for many years. I am sure it has been influenced by sociological and cultural forces (thank you James Dean), but I also feel that something older, deeper is at work. Evolutionary forces. The attraction feels primal and raw even though technology is a big part of its manifestation. You see, I am turned on by speed and power – specifically that of cars and motorcycles and specifically when driven by a man and I am along for the ride. I feel silly writing about this. It seems like such a cliché, but what can one do? Some sexual attractions are not terribly original or sophisticated. Sometimes you just happen to be aroused by something that is pretty predictable. I am not going to over analyze it. I am not going to fight it. I prefer to accept it and enjoy it – especially if in the realm of fantasy it harms no one. In the real world it can be pretty nifty too. What is funny about my car turn-on is that I know nothing about cars. In and of themselves they do not impress me. Some people use cars as status symbols, but I just do not connect with that. The way I measure success is not based on material possessions. Moreover, when it comes to the mechanical components of a car so much goes over my head. Certain visual aesthetics do appeal me, but that is about it. As long as I get from point A to point B in a reasonable amount of time I am happy. But the sex appeal of cars, now that does have the potential to affect me. My desires and perceptions change if I am with the right fellow and in the right car. Then I feel the power of it all. I get aroused. Being with the right guy is key. I have to be attracted to someone in a general way before specifics of a fetish come into the picture. The personal and physical attraction takes precedence and then my idiosyncrasies become part of the mix that is my attraction and arousal. I remember getting a lift home from university from a friend and he spoke about how cool his car was and showed me its different functions. We did not have chemistry before this incident and we certainly had none afterwards. However, I can imagine if I was interested in him then his car-ish behaviour would have had different results. If my heart is going pitter patter then my arousal sky rockets when he shifts into third (or what have you). Nearly 8 years ago, right before I started my site, I hooked up with a guy I met in California. He took me to his place which involved a late night drive along the coast. The ocean was to the right of me. There was not much light out except for a big full moon, but I could see the beach and the waves. It was dark and surreal. I am not sure what kind of car he had. It was something sporty and expensive. He was an adrenaline junkie and was some sort of well paid executive. He liked living on the edge. He liked to drive fast. I was quite attracted him. He was my physical type. However, I really got turned on when I watched him shift gears. It was hot. We had a great time together and I think his driving and the way he commanded the road had a little something to do with it. I have never been on a decent motorcycle ride - just short trips around the block when I was young. However, I have seen enough biker themed movies to want more of what I have tasted. Born to Run by Bruce Springsteen has a line it that just drives me wild (…”Just wrap your legs 'round these velvet rims and strap your hands across my engines…”) and I know I want to do the same with a certain fella as we drive away into the distance. As tacky as it sounds I want to feel that masculine energy between my legs. It is a physical desire as much as it is a psychological one. - I think part of the attraction to a man driving a car or riding a motorcycle comes from my attraction to competency that I mentioned in a recent Fresh journal entry. I find it sexy when someone is good at something. So when a man is a good driver, a confident driver, even with me sitting beside them, tempting them to do something else, I am impressed. My feminine energy, an energy of seduction, competes with their masculine energy of control. This sexual tension is so intoxicating. Things get even more lustful for me if some raunchy, raw rock music with deep penetrating beats is playing. It really pushes me and my primal urges to their limit. I want these feelings to continue surging, but I also want to arrive at my destination. Right then and there.