Then And Now

The idea of revisiting a Vintage Seska photoshoot has been percolating in my mind for some time. A then and now so to speak. Before I could take on this ambitious idea I needed to gain some confidence in my self-portrait (photo and video) skills. I also needed to discover who I was NOW as a sexual performer. 

After 8 months of exploring and creating I'm now ready to bring my Then and Now idea to life! Well, not quite ready but ready enough because I won't let perfection be the enemy of good.

When I began my comeback I didn't know how my sexual experience, which has become more nuanced and intense in my 40s, would translate to new porn. I know being true to myself is the only way I feel good about making porn. This is a lesson I learned the first time around. However, at age 49 I feel even more vulnerable and exposed in ways that younger porn models and performers do not. I once was a girl-next-door and met many of the youthful beauty standards of the day. I also had peers and role modes. Not so much now. I feel that I’m more of a trailblazer than before.

The other concern is that during my first porn era, I created in collaboration with my partner. This required compromise as the content was not just about me but about us. 

My porn comeback on the other hand is 100% me. I feel like I'm doing trapeze without a net as I handle all aspects of production and marketing from start to finish. It’s a big risk and I'm not talking about the sex part. It's all of the rest!

So, I was a little bit anxious thinking about how to recreate something from my past. When I decided to focus on a few physical elements such as the background and my clothes and not trying for rather a shot for shot replication I felt free to play!

This is my first recreation of what I hope are many!

Inspired by one of my vintage Seska photoshoots I bring to you Books Then and Now exclusively at Just For Fans!!

15 years later I didn't have the same books (except for a few favourites I have kept with me through the years). I also didn't have the same business suit. New books, a new business suit and a mature body is what I share with you now as I strip and play with my curvy, lush body.